Building a Palace

As we near Mother's Day I find that I have a lot of things tumbling around in my head. It's interesting how your perspective changes as you age and experience things. Mother's Day three years ago found me in a pretty dark, yet still hopeful place as we prayed and wished for a baby. Two years ago, I was thrilled with the joy of a successful in vitro process. It was just a month later that my dear friend lost her sweet baby. And just a month after that my world came crashing down with a miscarriage. That summer forever changed my feelings about Mother's Day. Last year, I was gratefully enjoying my growing belly and anxiously awaiting our little angel. This year, I feel so blessed to be snuggling my miracle baby and yet can't help thinking about my friends whose Mother's Days have been forever altered by the loss of a baby. It's amazing what a few years can bring into your life. How grateful I am that the gospel can give me eternal perspective on these experiences. I don't know how one can live without the knowledge that families are eternal and I'm so thankful that I don't have to. In addition, I know that the adversity in our lives can be meaningful. It's not fun, but if we allow Him, the Lord will use our tragedies, as well as our triumphs, to transform us into the people we are meant to be. I found this quote on another website today that describes my thoughts about this much better than I could ever say. It is by C.S. Lewis.

"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently, He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of--throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace."

While I would not likely choose the difficult things that have happened in my life, I know it is God's way of tutoring and leading me, and that it is possible only through the grace and power of the Savior's atonement. The adversities of my past Mother's Days have made me a better mother today and I aim to enjoy this one.