It's All About Control

This is for my friend Jenny. She challenged her readers earlier in the week to do a post for Mother's Day stating one weakness (and what you plan to do to improve) and one strength about yourself as a mother.

I have been thinking about this all week and still find myself not quite sure what to write. Actually the weakness came to my mind rather quickly. I have always known my need to improve in this area, and while I think I am making strides, I have a long way to go. I am terrible at teaching my children the value of work. You know the families whose kids all work individually and together to make the household run? That is not my family. Giving up control is not something I do well. Those of you who know me are not surprised by this statement. Although maybe you're surprised that I can actually admit it about myself. :) I find it would be faster and ultimately better for me to do the chores myself than to have my children do them. But what does that teach them? A whole slew of things that are the opposite of what I want to instill in them. I have, however, made adjustments recently that are a step in the right direction here. They are now responsible for cleaning their bathroom and room every Saturday. I really need to start having them do the dishes once or twice a week but haven't committed yet. Part of the issue with that one is the forethought that it takes. I find myself wanting to make sure the dishwasher is empty and all the big pots and pans are already done before they can do the dishes. What am I saying? I have a ten-year-old. She should be able to empty the dishwasher, right? See, I'm terrible at this.

Interestingly, the part of my personality that creates my weakness also helps me be good at something. In thinking about what to share that I do well I kept having this same thing come to mind. Then I kept pushing it away trying to think of something else because I'm not perfect at it. I realized there is only one thing I do perfectly as a mother: love my children. That I do without even thinking about it, just like you. So I decided to share this thing I think I do well, but not perfectly. Consistent discipline. Mind you there are times I am too lazy to follow through, but typically my children know that when I say something I mean it. This has landed me in some difficult spots as a mother. There have been times that my children have missed out on something that they really want to do because they didn't complete what they needed to beforehand. However, it has greatly decreased the negotiating and bartering in our house, which only leads to frustration on both parts. I do have to admit I was much better at this with Grace than Jenna. My little Jenna sure tests my fortitude sometimes but I think we are all better for the consistency. Even writing this now reminds me to recommit to making my words mean something. It is one of those things that takes constant vigilance. There are moments that I think maybe I was just blessed with nearly perfect children and I'm fooling myself into thinking that I had a part in molding their behavior. Actually, I think it's probably a combination. So thanks to good parents and professionals who taught me well, and thanks to Heavenly Father for sending me the three most perfect daughters!